“Wherever you go, there you are” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
We are a nation obsessed with destinations.
That’s why when your aunt asks you “Are you dating anyone?” at the dinner party, it might sound like, “Are you getting married any time soon?”
Or “How are things going with your job?” might feel like “Have you made something of yourself yet?”
(Come on. I can't be the only one with a neurotic translator living in my head.)
I’m here to remind us that external validation is something, but certainly not everything.
Milestones are great! But you guys. It’s still just us in here. With our wild emotions, off days, and full humanity.
We are promised that the ring, the promotion, the degree will transport to a beyond-human place. We’ll cross the finish line and enter nirvana. On the other side of the next accomplishment, an oasis free of bad moods and parking tickets awaits you.
But it’s still us in here (*points to heart*).
Ever notice the urgency of boarding a plane? You can feel the crowd of people holding their breath as they wait for their group to board. Group 8 folks are breathing down the back of group 1. I can practically hear the collective self-talk If I just get on the plane, I’ll practically be there already.
If I just get to my seat and settle in, I’ll practically be there already.
If I just get my luggage from baggage claim, I’ll practically be there already.
But y’all. We can only ever be here. It’s still us in here.
I have to admit I always have a funny feeling after a big accomplishment happens. Wasn’t this supposed to be it?
In my therapy practice, we spend a lot of time talking about the principle of the here-and-now. Make space for exactly who you are in the present moment. Right now, what does it feel like to be me? How can I fully be here?
For me, it usually involves taking some deliberate breaths and giving myself some intentional self-talk. How can I support you? What do you need to feel or do?
It’s still us in here. Let’s take care of us.