Today I want to share a practice that served me greatly in a past life when I was primarily working with young children. This tool helps dissolve intense emotion and invite in compassion for someone you may be having a conflict or hard time with. It can also serve as an incredible tool to offer self-compassion.
I set a timer and sit in meditation for a few minutes, breathe, and visualize myself (or the other person) in light. I imagine them in their best, most secure selves. I envision their needs being met and decisions coming easily to them or their caretakers.
This visualization meditation is called The Compassionate Response from Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting.
1) Get centered
Breathe gently. Focus your attention on your heart area.
Use self-talk or mantra that helps you feel calm.
Examples: “relax”; “peace begins with me”; “Just a breath in, just a breath out”; “this is not personal”
2) Golden Moment
Imagine the child happy, at peace, engaged, in the flow of his or her life.
Several images may come.
Let them be, until one becomes clearer than the others.
Keep that image in your mind.
Notice how you feel, especially in your body.
Release or breathe the picture out
3) Soul Fever
Imagine yourself or the child upset, withdrawn, angry, down. Allow the images to surface, until one picture is clearer.
Hold this image and notice how you feel, especially in your body.
Practice drawing close or breathing in the picture of the soul fevered child.
4) Both together
Hold both pictures in your imagination at once.
Move your attention gently from one to the other. Breathe in the soul-fevered picture, then breathe out the light filled golden moment picture.
5) Use it, don’t lose it
Practice the exercise in quiet moments, alone, so that you are more prepared to find center next time there is a hard moment. Over time it begins to come naturally.